86wasablast

86wasablast @ 2004-12-28T19:52:00

2004-12-29T01:52:25Z

something terrible has happened.
bye bye livejournal for a while.
don't delete me though.
unless, you know, you really want to.

i'm not your lover, i'm not your friend. i'm just something you could never comprehend.

2004-11-04T18:14:40Z

i smell really good. and it feels really good outside.

i have to run karen's show by myself today. scary.

can't wait for tomorrow? yeah.
he makes me feel like i'm in a movie, but i don't want it.
it will end eventually. because those things happen. and i won't be able to handle it. or. i could just enjoy it. his eyes are sad, and it fucks me up inside. makes me want to save his life, but i am not capable of saving anyones life when i need fucking saving myself. i just hope i still have him in my life when i'm able to be selfless. he's like a drug. seriously.

yesterday i spent about two hours in hermes music, in a little soundproof room with a guitar. a lot of singing. i saw aaron and boots there. and a guy that worked there who was watching me gave me dogtags for some reason. i'd like to buy a new acoustic guitar and start playing again. i forgot how good it felt.

i haven't messed with photoshop in awhile. it's fun.
late.

86wasablast @ 2004-11-02T16:00:00

2004-11-02T22:02:37Z

i'm getting this friday;

yay. a cell phone finally. i've missed it.

86wasablast @ 2004-09-23T00:25:00

2004-09-23T05:25:52Z

so...here's to a life of big, messy, out-of-order moments.

i can't wait to turn 25. i can't wait to have an amazing career that i'm proud of. i can't wait to meet my soul mate. i can't wait to kiss him for the first time. i can't wait to fall in love. i can't wait to marry. i can't wait to have babies that i can kiss. i can't wait to wake up to the same face every morning. i can't wait for a consistancy that means everything.

and those are the things that get me through this day and age. those are the things that make things not matter so much. petty little things that keep you on your toes.

i really can't wait for a time when i can look back on all of this and say that i don't regret a thing, but i'm so glad it's over.

86wasablast @ 2004-09-22T02:12:00

2004-09-22T07:12:12Z

instead of going to sleep, i got full of myself.

2004-09-17T09:59:57Z

write five statements about five people you know.
do not say names.
some of these do not even pertain to people who have livejournals, but if you do, go ahead and guess. (im bored and an insomniac apprently)

[one]i love you a lot, even if it takes me being completely fucked up to ever mention it or get even close to mentioning it. because it's just how our relationship has always been. it's comfort and familiarity. you are my best friend, through anything. oh, and you're cleverness is growing pretty rapidly.

[two]you and i have our moments when we are almost the same person. and i know you are anxious and looking forward to almost all the same things as i. you make me sad sometimes. like it's this beautiful hopelessness you have, but not in a bad way at all. you make me laugh harder than most people are capable of doing. persistance and patience will be your savior when it comes to the thing i think you want most. &i'd marry you in a second. also one of my best friends. i love you.

[three]you, biatch, take all my cares away. because girls just wanna have fun. you are the easiest person to be an asshole to, and you are the only one who can be an asshole back and get away with it. i'd so call you right now if you were awake. which you most definetely are not, because somewhere amidst the chaos of our lives, you manage to be responsible and take care of what needs to be taken care of. our sex life together is pretty cool, too. ahahha.

[four]you are someone that will always be a tragic distant memory. and you are someone that i could never possibly forget, but if i could cut you out of my life entirely, i would. just because your presence always is a dissappointment &so awkward. and i'll never, til the day i die, understand how it ever came to that. "the easy way out" is a phrase that comes to mind when i think of you. i think you may be the only stereotypical person i know, in the sense that you have that i'm a pimp attitude, and you do that condescending thing. that never suited you. still doesn't. but i'm relieved, so relieved, to have finally let go of who you were and realized that it was all mental. and we were just so young. and it was just too much. and it's a well known fact that intensity like that at such a naive young age dies out eventually, no matter how beautiful it ever seemed to be. i never gave so much of myself to a person, only to be forgotten in an instant. but thank you, honestly, for teaching me to never let something like that happen again. thank you for showing me that the next time i give it all away, it has to be real. i do love you for teaching me heartbreak. honestly. but hey! you never know. maybe in 10 years you can be E.T. and make me giggle again. &if not, you'll be making someone giggle and you'll be happy and that's all i hope for you.

[five]you know me better than any other human being could possibly know me. and you put up with way too much of my shit. i think, also, you probably care about me more than anyone, even more than my own mother. i don't tell you i love you enough. iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou and you inspire me in too many ways for me to list. you'll be something amazing. you are amazing. and you'll be so happy. oh and. you are the most real person i know.

86wasablast @ 2004-09-02T02:25:00

2004-09-02T07:25:56Z

i will go down with this ship
i will not throw my hands up and surrender
there will be no white flag upon my door
i am in love
and always will be

86wasablast @ 2004-09-01T22:08:00

2004-09-02T03:09:05Z

the good stuff is friends only.
some is not.
so whatever. you chose.